Even though I have read this chapter over 40 times, I still sit here stunned and humbled by Paul's example of living all out for Jesus. His pursuit of and suffering for Jesus and the gospel shame me. My life and following of Jesus has been so easy compared to the road God had him traverse.
I know my road from the Lord has been different and to compare my journey with anyone else's, even more so someone of the stature of Paul, is wrong. Still I am humbled by Paul's steadfast determination and love for the Lord… that he would endure all this gladly for Jesus and keep pressing forward in service to Jesus.
…I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? (23b-29).
When I hear people preach that God wants all Christians to prosper, meaning all Christians should be healed of all diseases and earn comfortable wages and live in fine homes, I choke, wondering if they have read what Paul endured for his faith?
This last thought, however true it might be, is a rabbit trail away from my time with the Lord allowing me to avoid the questions God possess to me in the quietness of my inner being. Questions, which go like this… "Bill, would you give your all for Me like Paul did?" "Bill, would you accept suffering if that was My will for you?" "Bill, do you trust Me –really trust Me –with your life? "Bill, where is your passion to spread My name and fame across the earth?" Bill, show Me your life scars from battling with world to advance My gospel?" And so God's inquiry went…
Honestly, I didn't know if I could answer these questions. Like Job, I found myself speechless before the Lord. I am not worthy to be His disciple. Thankfully God's mercy and grace is far greater than my unworthiness…
Alleluia! Thank You, Oh Lord, for Your grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, redemption, care, gifts and presence. You alone are worthy. I praise You and bless You. Through Jesus, my Savior, I pray. Amen.
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